How to Properly Socialize Your Infant

Though we usually got along well in principle, there could be a bit of head-butting between my former mother-in-law and me. When my daughter was a year old, the chief issue was my mother-in-law's concerns that I hadn't gotten out of the house enough since Sydney was born and that it was probably because I was depressed. Further, she worried, if I wasn't getting out enough, then neither was Syd and that meant the baby wasn't being properly socialized. 

Syd, seen here a few years older,
learning what a plate glass
window looks like.

I disagreed but who was I other than one of the two parties in question and the mother of the other?

But it was stunning how quickly we called a truce when the family patriarch, Grandpa Sid (my mother-in-law's father) announced that he was taking the family on a cruise. 

There were quite a few of us going, too. In addition to Grandpa Sid, my mother-in-law and I, were my father-in-law, my sister-in-law, my then-husband, Michael, and Grandpa Sid's caregiver. 

Michael and the baby and I spent the night before departure at his parents' and while hugging her, Michael accidentally bruised his mother's rib. I reminded her unhelpfully that love hurts. 

The next day, my father-in-law handed us the matching t-shirts he'd had made with embroidered nautical motifs and the cheerful little message: Grandpa Sid's Family Cruise. There was even an extra-tiny version for the baby.

That first night on the ship, I was alone with Sydney in our cabin. She was having trouble falling asleep so I stepped onto the balcony and held her - not like Michael Jackson held his baby on a balcony, but silently and gently. Together we watched the moon reflected in a crooked jag across rough, slate-colored water. Hushing sounds from the waves, breezes kissing her face and the lilting motions of the ship put the baby right to sleep. 

Dinners on the cruise were extravagant, and Sydney was dressed like a princess for each one. One night we were served by a dignified waiter of mysterious national origin who reminded me of the late actor, Brock Peters. When my mother-in-law blew razzberries at Sydney, he dryly inquired, "And who's the baby, madame?" The waiter's question reassured me that my theories on infant socialization might be almost as sophisticated as my mother-in-law's. 

One afternoon, we all disembarked for a walking tour and my mother-in-law was excited that Syd would finally see the sun. She took turns with my father-in-law pushing the stroller, the entire time saying, "Look, Sydney! That's what a cloud looks like!" and "Look, Sydney! That's what a horse looks like!" and "Look, Sydney! That's what a manhole cover looks like!"

Then, either she or my father-in-law lost their grip on the stroller, and Syd began a speedy decent down a grassy embankment, all of us chasing after her. Faster and faster, she rolled until the stroller smashed into a chain link fence at the bottom of the hill, a loud ka-ching signaling the end of her ride.

By the time we caught up to her and took a good look, we saw that she was no worse off for the experience and seemed to have actually enjoyed herself. 

"See, Sydney?" I said, pretending to mash my hand into my face. "That's what a chain link fence looks like."

Then my mother-in-law, much to her credit, began to laugh, and her laughing made me laugh. And we laughed together hard . . . until we had to stop because it made her bruised rib hurt.