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Silas "in repose." The only time his
feet are still is when he's asleep.
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If Silas could talk, he would complain that there aren't enough toys around here.
If Silas could talk, he would exultantly proclaim that the reason he climbed Mt. Mommy was because she was there - in the kitchen.
If Silas could talk, he would tell you that wrapping his arms around the cat's neck and kicking her with his hind legs - while she's sleeping - is his way of keeping her mentally fit like Cato did for Clouseau.
If Silas could talk, he would justify chewing up that $100 pair of earbuds by complaining that there aren't enough toys around here.
If Silas could talk, he would tell you that the reason he claws the new leather club chair is because the other new leather club chair already has the other cat's claw marks on it.
If Silas could talk, he would complain that he had to climb up the tablecloth because his cat tree isn't challenging enough and because he'd already conquered Mt. Mommy.
If Silas could talk, he would tell you that the kitchen counter is really the only place where his butt feels nice and cool.
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Silas, seen here shimmying up my body like a pole-
climber.
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If Silas could talk, he would tell you that the reason he tore the protective covering out from under the rocking chair, crawled up inside, and forced you to get out of the chair, upend the chair, and then ram your arm in up to the shoulder to haul him out like a freshly birthed calf - five different times - was because he wanted to be closer to you and that was the only way because you always hog the rocking chair.
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Silas asking, "What is this thing? No, really -
what is this thing?"
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If Silas could talk, he would tell you that the reason he chomped holes in all the plants was because he was bored, and there aren't enough toys around here.
If Silas could talk, he would say that the reason he tears through the house like his tail is on fire, wreaking havoc and blazing a path of destruction, is because he's a kitten, and that's just how it is with kittens.
If I could talk to Silas in a way he'd understand, I'd tell him all is forgiven, that he'd have plenty of toys if he'd stop rolling them down the basement stairs, and that he'll feel much better once he's neutered.
And then I'd tell him I'll feel better then, too - because that's just how it is with humans.
