Playing Games with Underwater Welders

I play this game on my phone called Words with Friends. It's a lot like Scrabble, and most of the people I play with are people I actually know. However, sometimes I accept an invitation from someone I don't know, and occasionally, when I spot someone who looks like a better player than I am, I'll challenge that person to a game as a way of sharpening up my skills. 

Words with Friends allows players to "chat" with their opponents, and it's rare that I am willing to engage in a chat on there with someone I don't already know. But once in a while I do. What follows is a conversation which took place between me and a new opponent a few months ago.

Player: Hello! You play so well. How long have you been playing? 

(I'm not that great a player.)

Me: Thank you. It's been about four years. 

Player: Wow, that's such a long time. I just started some days back. Where are you from?
 
Me: The Midwest. You?

Player: I'm from Houston, Texas, but currently at Israel Gaza for peacekeeping. How's the weather over there in the Midwest today?

Me: Peacekeeping mission? What organization do you represent?

Player: I'm a USA Military General currently serving in Gaza Strip and I work for the United Nations. Lovely photo you've got. You look exceptionally beautiful and amazingly gorgeous on your photo.

Funny how this USA Military General wrote as though English was not his first language. 

Three hours later . . .

Player: Hello?

Me: I'm really not much into chatting on here. Thanks, though.

Player: You're welcome. I just find you interesting and nice to talk to. It's been so long since I've had someone to text with. Please, for the sake of friendship, can you text more with me? I really would love to get to know you much more. Are you married or single?

Sadly, that's where our acquaintance ended. Something came over me, some fickle inspiration, and I blocked our chat. Words with Friends has a feature allowing you to do that. I'm sure he was sincere and looking for a long-term relationship. Actually, I don't think that at all. I think he wanted to scam me. The same is probably the case with Felipe.

Felipe: Hello! I must say this because it has been on my mind from the beginning I matched you. First of all, my late wife's name was the same as yours and the smile on your face reminds me of her so much and one other this is that she's also a nurse. And I have been wondering if people in this world are in twos. 

I didn't bother to point out to Felipe that not only was I not smiling in my photo, I was wearing a jacket and blue jeans and sitting in the grass. His late wife being a nurse and sharing my smile weren't the coincidences he was faking them out to be. He must have thought I couldn't see my own picture on the game.

Felipe: My pleasure playing with you! Where are you from please? I'm from Lisbon, Portugal, but I live in New York.

Me: I'm from the Midwest.

Felipe: Okay, that's nice. I have heard a lot about the Midwest, but I have never been there at all. Although I have a colleague that lives there. Have you ever been out of the Midwest, visiting other states or countries? I have traveled to several countries due to my job in engineering and seminars. 

Me: I haven't traveled as much as I'd like, but I hope to travel more in the future. 

Felipe: That's nice. At least you'll have experiences of how other countries and places feels and look like. Are you an outdoor person? I like going out maybe gather with few friends every once in a while. 

I go to bed without responding. The next morning:

Felipe: Believe that you are beautiful and have what it takes to move mountains, and you'll move mountains. Don't allow yourself to be let down by what others say. Get up and do what you can do best. Good morning!

 Me: Thanks, Felipe, all nice thoughts. 

Felipe: You're welcome! Still you have not answered my question. You like being outdoors?

Me: I used to enjoy being outdoors but not as much since I shattered my knee cap in a mountain climbing accident and had to have my leg amputated. You've really brought up painful memories for me, Felipe. 

Felipe: I am so sorry about your leg! I know it'll be uncomfortable for you sometimes. Always make sure you follow the doctor's advice so you don't hurt yourself again. Outdoor activities brings fresh ideas into my everyday life, and it makes me think freely. 

Forget about what you couldn't achieve yesterday, and think of the wonderful things today has for you. Work with all your might towards them to make your tomorrow extraordinarily bright. Good morning!

Me: Good morning.

Felipe: How's your day going? I figured you always play game at midnight. Are you working on night shift?

Me: No, it's just that I usually play at bedtime. My day is going well, thanks.

Felipe: Mine has been busy but going smoothly. Whenever I'm on my lunch break, I take time out of my busy schedule and take a little time to check on you. So, tell me, please, how long have you been a nurse or a doctor?

Me: I'm not a nurse or a doctor. 

Felipe: Oh, pardon me please! When I saw your clothes, I thought your were a nurse. So what are you doing for a living please? I'm a private contractor and an underwater welder. 

Cut and scene. That wasn't the first time someone on Words with Friends told me he was an underwater welder. Next time it will be an underwater welder who's also a "USA Military General" on a peacekeeping mission in the Gaza Strip.  

Ugh.






 

Brown Shoes

According to the Cole Porter song, Miss Otis Regrets, the lady is saddened that she's unable to lunch because she's just gotten hauled off to the hoosegow for shooting her lover. On Saturday I regretted that I was able to lunch - and even then, it was just barely. 

Brown Shoes by Teece Aronin. Available on products at
redbubble.com/people/phylliswalter.

I have a friend I'll call F. F and I have known each other almost two years and met through the miracle of social media. Because we live roughly two hours from one another, we have communicated mostly via the Face Book game Words with Friends and texting. We did manage to meet a couple of times, one of them for dinner. Maybe you've found yourself with the same problem: you like someone, but you live so far apart that it's difficult to date like other couples. 

So back to F. One or the other of us was always dating someone else or recovering from some star-crossed stupidity into which we'd gotten sucked. 

Anyway, there we were last week, messaging back and forth, and ended up planning a date with each other. It was for yesterday. Then, in one of those, "I-have-no-idea-why-we're-texting-about-this" moments, it was decided we'd share our first kiss. He seemed enthused about the kiss and so was I. I was to drive to his house and we would go from there to a wedding reception. 

Now, I was rear-ended a few weeks ago, and my back and knees waited until recently to start collectively killing me. I've been limping, playing phone tag with my medical claims rep and having a rough time getting things done at work because of the pain. The day before the date it was almost unbearable, so I went to my doctor. I had told F that I would dance with him, but could barely get out of my car. 

"I'm going to a wedding tomorrow!" I told my doctor who wrote me a prescription for a steroid. And then it hit me that I had nothing to wear. Actually, I have very few clothes period. I think some of them are still packed from when we moved last spring. Even at work I dress very casually. So I went straight from the doctor to Marshall's where I limped my way among the racks until I came up with something nice enough for a wedding but not too dressy for work. Then I went home and collapsed. 

Three hours later, F texted to say the couple getting married hadn't received his RSVP so would I like to just meet for lunch? I was disappointed but relieved. I'd had mixed feelings about getting all dressed up and mingling with a lot of people I don't know while walking like Walter Brennan. So lunch it would be. 

That night I was feeling a little giddy about the next day, and the idea of the kiss - which in my mind had become not just the kiss, but the KISS. 

We met at the restaurant, oohed and ahhd over the pot stickers and each had a sandwich and a beer. When the bill came I asked if I could help and he said I could cover the tip if I liked, so I did that. He walked me to my car where I instantly regretted not getting to my mints beforehand. 

It occurred to me that we'd each driven more than an hour just for lunch and that maybe a first kiss in a parking lot wasn't what he'd had in mind, so I said, "I don't know what your schedule's like, but would you like to go do something else?" I was thinking a movie or a park might be a good idea.

No, he said. He had to let the dog out and a buddy was taking him out for his birthday (I had wrapped up a small birthday present for him, but forgot it at home). Then he said, "Well, I'll be seeing you," and started for his car. 

"F, would you like to kiss goodbye?" I asked.

"No, that's okay," he said, and kept walking.

I sat there for a second, a little perplexed then went after him.

"F?"

He didn't seem to have heard me and kept walking,

"Excuse me, F!" 

He turned and saw me and continued getting into his car. When I caught up to him, his car door was still open. I bent over and looked in.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"No, nothing's wrong."

"But you wouldn't like to kiss goodbye?"

"It's not imperative," he said, not moving except to look at me.

I straightened up, walked back to my car and got in. He was long gone before I'd even managed to get my keys in the ignition. 

I tried to keep an open mind about what just happened. We'd met before, and he had been open about his attraction to me and wanting to kiss me someday, so I didn't think it was an attraction problem. Then again, maybe it was. I started that losing battle so many of us wage in these situations, trying to think what I'd said or done to offend him. There was nothing stuck between my teeth and nothing up my nose. There were no lulls in the conversation and a lot of laughing. What happened?

Then I just felt bad and drove home. 

It's probably not fair to write about this when F and I've not talked about what happened, but for all I know, he doesn't intend to and might have no plans to discuss anything with me again. And besides, if I don't write about things like this, they pile up inside and who needs that? 

Also, F deserves the benefit of the doubt. For all I know, he chipped a tooth on a pot sticker and was too self-conscious to kiss. Or maybe he really does still like me, but didn't want the kiss to happen over his doggie bag. Or maybe the woman he'd just started dating who so far was two for three on date cancellations, texted him while I was in the ladies' room and proposed marriage. I joke, but truly, some very good reason might have occurred to him that made him change his mind.  

And like women, men have the right to change their minds and they also have the right to say no to unwanted advances. 

Imagine all the times Donald Trump must have fought women off.