The Economy of Love

I tend to worry about finances and used to go overboard with the budgeting. My frugality was at its height when I was a single mother of two teens. For instance, we had no toaster. Why buy a toaster when you can broil the bread and save on counter space? When my daughter suggested we buy a printer, I told her that holding tracing paper up to the computer monitor and drawing what she would have printed was good for her hand/eye coordination and added that in my day, we chiseled our own copies onto slabs of rock. 

© Teece Aronin - All rights reserved. For prints or image licensing inquiries, email chippeddemitasse@gmail.com.

Whenever money was tight, I would buy one stick of deodorant, one tube of toothpaste, one hairbrush, and so on to share between the kids' bathroom and mine. Mornings looked as though we'd all tumbled from train berths to the aisle below. The "aisle" was the hall outside the bathrooms. We'd dash in and out of the bathrooms and up and down the hall, passing, tossing, and flipping toiletries to one another. This, I told the kids, reinforced time management, sharing, and skills they could use if they ever ran away from home to join the circus.

Back then I was in love with a man I'll call "Luke" whose dog I'll call "Jackson." Jackson was a Great Pyrenees weighing about 150 pounds. At Luke's house one day, I became convinced that even something as sensitive as couples counseling can be achieved on the cheap with a smart and empathetic dog. 

 

Luke and I had been having an intense conversation. It wasn't a fight, but the issue was serious, and we were at odds. Luke was sitting in a dining room chair, and I sat, criss-cross applesauce, on the floor nearby. Luke suggested I leave so we could gain some perspective. Jackson, who'd been monitoring the situation, rose immediately, strolled over, and sat on my lap. He then laid his head on Luke's lap. It was as if he were saying, “Luke, I love you - Teece, SIT."

"I'll leave when you call Jackson off," I challenged. 

Luke said nothing, which was good because I didn't relish going home to two kids juggling toiletries and acting surly because we didn’t have a toaster or a printer. Then I asked, "Why do I get the rear end?"

Luke replied that I deserved the rear end, but he was smiling, and we were able to talk things through.

Jackson let me up and shot me a look, its message crystal clear: "Today I'm waving my fee. Next time bring plenty of kibble. And you did deserve the rear end.”

Paying a dog Jackson's size in kibble could get pricey. Then again, a dachshund could never have bridged that span on its own. Maybe it would have stacked up some pillows first. Then it could sit on my lap and still place its head on my lover’s.

That would have worked well, too.

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Due to Budget Constraints, No Sardines Will Be Purchased Until Tuesday

I have a budget, which is big talk from someone without any money. But now that I have a budget, I'm counting on the money to follow. 

Graphic: Copyright, Teece Aronin

My budget is calculated by taking each bi-weekly paycheck and setting aside at least half of what I need for each fixed monthly expense. Then I pull out what I need for groceries and personal care expenses for the kids and me and put it in envelopes. This keeps me on the straight and narrow and curbs the temptation to buy three shoes instead of two - you know, like people do. 

Sticking with a budget also means sticking to your guns. When the kids beg, "Please Mom, can't we have cake and chips for this weekend?" I calmly explain that they must then decide what they are willing to give up: toilet paper or heat. Notice the flexibility I employ in my willingness to dip into the fixed monthly expenses allotment in order to buy the cake and chips as long as they are prepared to sacrifice a bit on their end. I think this helps them to better appreciate the value of a dollar and to respect their mother's financial agility. 

If nothing else, they know that a woman with budget smarts and determination is in charge and that gives them a sense of safety when it comes to money. 

 My own personal finance hero is a woman I know who double checks the cost of what's in her cart before getting into the check-out line. If she's over budget, she swaps out or puts back items until she's at her limit again. She doesn't feel depressed or deprived over it because she knows the greater good is being achieved by being in control of her money. 

Being careful with my expenditures allows me to funnel more money into my vacation and entertainment accounts, and the kids appreciate that too. No more staying in independently owned hotel franchises with no elevators, no coffee and no door locks. This summer we'll be checking into a Holiday Inn, baby, and won't it be fine? 

Ah yes, the best is yet to come.